Showing posts with label personal improvement. Show all posts
Showing posts with label personal improvement. Show all posts

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Personal Development Techniques To Release The Past

Personal Development Techniques To Release The Past
By Michael McGrath




It is possible to release your past regardless of how painful or deprived it was. Through these personal development techniques you let go of all your emotional baggage and start fresh.



Once you release your emotional attachment to your past you are free to enjoy the present. From this powerful place of being happy and content with where you are you can then begin to create the future of your dreams.



Although you cannot change anything that has happened in the past you can change how your past experiences affect your future. The first step to releasing the past is to accept that it happened. No matter how traumatic the experience or how distasteful the memory is you must acknowledge here and now that it occurred. This is what we call entering a state of Acceptance. Many people live their entire lives wanting to change the past. They moan that if only things had been different their life would be so much better. The past is gone. It happened. There is no way to change the past so there is no point wishing that it never happened or that it happened differently. You cannot change it so accept it!



After acceptance you can enter a state of peace when you realise that the past, all of it, good and bad experiences alike have helped to form and mould the person you are today. All the knowledge, desire and love that are in you right now are a direct result of the past experiences that make up your life.



Next realise that the past has some powerful lessons to teach you. Have you learned anything positive from your past experiences? Use your past as a learning tool. See where you went wrong and make the changes you need to make today so that your future becomes a bright and welcoming place. Never use your past as an excuse to stay the way you are or to tolerate circumstances and situations with which you are currently unhappy! Realise that the past has been and gone. All you have is this moment and that is all you need to make changes.



Many millions of people throughout the centuries have overcome their own personal adversity to achieve great things. You can do the same. These people refused to accept what life had handed them. They never moaned about their past nor allowed it to interfere with their present and thus they created their future the way they wanted it to be.



You should never use the past an excuse for staying stuck in your life. Your power is always in the present moment. Use your past negative experiences as a motivational tool to spur you on. It is all about your perception! It is your perception of the things around you that determines your reality. What you focus on expands. This means you get more of what you focus on in life. If you chose to focus on the mistakes and hardships of your past then that is what you will experience more of.



But if you decide to put the past where it belongs, in the past, and fully embrace the present moment and where you are you will find yourself in a powerful creative place. Only revisit the past to learn from it not as an emotional trip. Although much of your current mental conditioning originates from childhood and early life experiences it can be changed. By making the decision now and holding the intention now that the past will no longer affect you, you can free yourself from your own self-imposed bondage.



From this place of freedom you can make decisions based upon current situations and circumstances instead of being the slave to reactive emotional thinking and acting. The evidence is everywhere that people with painful, damaging pasts have overcame them and gone on to achieve high levels of success. Look at the business world, sports, creative arts etc. There are rags to riches stories everywhere you care to look.



You may encounter past experiences that are very difficult for you to realease. At these times you should seek professional help in whatever form you feel appropriate, even if it is just a subliminal or hypnosis recording. Do something now to release your past - make the decision that it will no longer rule over your current life. Intend to be free of the past. In your own mind decide now that no matter what you need to do you will release your emotional issues. Even though you may not know how you are going to do this yet hold the intention that you will do it. When you do this and begin to live in the now you will be more content and at peace while you wait for your marvelous future to unfold.




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Relationship Clarity - Three Traits of a Conscious Relationship

Relationship Clarity - Three Traits of a Conscious Relationship

By Leif Davis

You know what really drives me crazy, its when people talk on cell phones when they are driving. You can bet they are talking about, or dealing with some relationship issue. You know the guy who is swerving all over the road with the cell up to his ear, the other hand holding a cigarette, "Honey I, honey I, honey I, I, I, I. Just the other day, I was driving along, talking on my cell-- what? I didn't say I didn't do it, I just said it drives me crazy when other people do it!



A majority of our lives is spent in relationship with other people. Its sometimes surprising to see how many people are walking around (or driving) in what I call the relationship daze.. Particularly, when it comes to romance or being in a committed relationship, we are so often clueless. To become conscious in your relationships is to come out of the fog. I want to share three of the basic qualities of a conscious relationship. The three traits of a conscious relationship are, know your vision, be a good communicator, and be 100% responsible.



First and foremost, being conscious in relationship is to know who you are and what you want. This means being clear about life purpose, your requirements, needs, and wants. Most people think they know this, but so often, we are only looking at the tip of the iceberg, where 90% of the substance is below the surface. From my experience, a good percentage of the problems in committed relationships are because of unstated or unrealized expectations. These are often the residents of our nighttime dreams, the fantasies about the perfect relationship. Taking the relationship out of the fantasy world and making your vision clear and explicit is vital. If you go into a relationship with a huge piece of the iceberg still under the surface, there is bound to be trouble.



The second trait of a conscious relationship is being able to communicate competently- especially when feeling overwhelmed by emotion. And believe me, if there is ever a time when emotion can overwhelm, it in a romantic relationship! Many of us are at times emotionally over reactive.



There are two types of over reactive people according to Harvile Hendrix. In his book, Getting the Love You Want, he calls them minimizers and maximizers. Minimizers stonewall others when they are upset- they under reacting, withhold, or shut down. For minimizers, iIts important to get more understanding of how you are feeling and be effective at communicating to your partner about those feelings.



On the other hand, maximizers tend to overreact when having strong emotions. They make mountains out of molehills often saying things that are hurtful. Maximizers often have the mistaken notion that being close to someone makes it ok to tell everything that you feel at any given moment without any filter- in whatever way it comes out. In reality, you need to be thoughtful, careful, and considerate in how you communicate to your significant other. Learning to manage your emotions, becoming more emotionally intelligent is vital for a good relationship.



Lastly learn to take total responsibility for your relationship. I used to think relationships were 50/50 but have come to realize they are really 100/100 And if two people take 100% responsibility, then that's 200% responsibility. Being responsible means asking for what you need and want and accepting it when you cant have it- in other words accept the other person as they are. On the other hand you must also be willing to end it (or not start it if you are pre committed) if your requirements are not met. It's important to have clarified beforehand, what your requirements are. (Requirements are deal breakers, those things that if not present will cause a breakup).



I have just briefly touched on several of the qualities of a conscious relationship. Being conscious and clear is protection against many of the problems that plague troubled relationships. Look for more of the qualities of being conscious and in love in future articles.




Dr Davis is a relationship coach and psychologist in Orlando Florida. He is an author and speaker and is dedicated to helping people finding love in a sometimes-confusing world. He offers teleseminars, weekend courses, eprograms, and audio programs on conscious dating and for committed couples seeking to deepen their connection and forge strong and lasting relationships. You can find him at: http://www.psychologicalgrowth.com