Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Personal Development in Florida

Who’d like to share their experience?” A common refrain in the Satvatove programs, this question often results in responses such as “I was too distracted,” “My partner is so nice,” or “I’m a terrible listener”. I regard such expressions as judgments, rather than sharing of experience. Also in personal feedback exercises we sometimes use the prompt “I experience you as..”, culminating in expressions of evaluation or judgment, rather than actual experience.


Statements such as “I felt so angry when I wasn’t understood”, “I experienced my heart open when my partner shared a story similar to mine”, and “I felt great relief to talk about my hurt”, usually indicate sharing of experience. I use the term “usually” because, from my perspective, there is no particular phrasing that guarantees that one is connected with experience. Still, language reflects consciousness, and some wording consistently indicates analysis as opposed to experience.


* The course teaches techniques to help participants make appropriate behavioral changes through more effective communication.

* You will acquire listening tools as a basis for modules including interpersonal skills, conflict resolution, commitment, teamwork, and assertiveness.

* Through participatory activities you will examine underlying assumptions by which you live your life. This will facilitate a shift in your ability to relate to yourself and others. You can then fully engage your potential and create results in career, spirituality, relationships, and all areas of human endeavor.

* You will explore the effect of your interpersonal style and refine your communication and relationship skills.

* This is a concentrated, powerful communication training, culminating in self-realization and satisfying relationships. This self-understanding will improve your communication at work, with family, and in all interactions.


Seminar participants have travelled from all over the world to attend these personal development courses in Florida, though mainly these courses serve people in the areas of Orlando, Tampa, Jacksonville, St. Petersburg, Tallahassee and Atlanta. Our next set of workshops will be in Gainesville, Florida, where we’ll be conducting the Foundational Course from July 11-13, 2008, and the Advanced Seminar from July 21-27, 2008. Thousands of people have significantly enriched their relationships, improved their communication capacity, and achieved greater life satisfaction through these unique and powerful personal development seminars. I will be very glad to see you there, and let me know if you have any questions about the Satvatove courses.


This transformational workshop will help you find new perspectives to life in a healing environment of ocean, delicious cleansing and nourishing foods, Invigorating practices and exercises that will lead you to a place of inner peace and total surrender.

Life Coaching - 7 Secrets to Handle a Tough Conversation

Life Coaching - 7 Secrets to Handle a Tough Conversation

By Michael Young




Is there someone you need to have a conversation with and have been dreading? Possibly, you have tried and it went badly. Or perhaps you are afraid that talking with them is going to make things worse. Regardless of the reason, you feel the stress. One of the most common barriers to authentic conversation is that people don not know how to begin. A life coach can help you make your relationships flourish even during tough conversations.



You will have to speak truth in a way that is respectful, even if you believe the other person does not deserve it. When you want to talk and the other person does not, it may be tempting to cajole or demand. What do you do if you want to have a difficult conversation about an important workplace matter but the other person does not. If you are more cheerful and optimistic than the person you are talking to or if you are at a different level of responsibility or authority than they are this can make communication more difficult. You should give the other person respect and listen to their side. Try to keep this in mind when your in a difficult conversation, the results I want is to solve whatever problem is between me and the other person.



As a leader it is important to develop people who want to share and help carry out the goals of the organization. However, some people like tough conversations and some people avoid confronting a problem because they are uncomfortable with confrontation. They think it is more work than it is worth, or worry that they will bruise the relationship in the process.



Here are four simple things NOT to do:



  • Do not let to much time go by before entering into the conversation.
  • Do not have a preconceived idea, try to learn as much as possible about the other's point of view.
  • Do not interrupt, but simply acknowledge what they say.
  • Do not keep them guessing about you are desire to make things right.
The 7 Secrets to Handle a Tough Conversation



1. People are not able listen and understand what another is saying while planning their answer or trying to interrupt. That conversation that is running in your head prevents you from truly hearing and understanding. You may be surprised by what you learn when you seek first to understand. The 19th century English statesman Sir John Lubbock said, "What we see depends mainly on what we look for."



2. Regardless of the issue you should bring it up in private. When you have disagreements in public those around you feel out-of-place and uncomfortable. A problem is not resolved until you both think it is. After you have had a tough conversation, you both are likely to have questions and unresolved issues. Leave the door open for another conversation. Do not be offended if the person your talking with is not pleasant to deal with at the moment. Stress will make you do things you normally would not. The circumstances are causing the problem, not you.



3. Be sure of what you want to say and do not wait long before bringing it up. Letting the issue fester will not make it go away but will make it worse. Resentment comes when a problem arises and they feel like nothing is being done about it. You can keep small problems from becoming big problems by addressing them quickly.



4. While there may be many issues discuss only one at a time and deal only in the facts, not speculation or opinion. Dealing with too many issues at once is overwhelming and make it difficult to come to a resolution. Speak clearly and simply. People rightly see double-talk as an attempt to cloud the issues and avoid responsibility.



5. Keep your tone and volume at a respectable level and do not be accusatory. Yelling and an accusatory tone can be intimidating. Your reaction will be seen as aggressive and impede progress to a point where you both lose. An aggressive person will cause those more timid to retreat and say nothing or worse, say anything to keep the peace. Two aggressive personalities can intensify it to a level of physical response.



6. Allow the other person to state their feelings or opinion. If you hear something that you do not like, ask them to repeat it and try to understand without getting defensive. Often we assume we know the whole story and strive to be right instead of listening to understand.



7. Look at the issue from the other person's point-of-view. Do not assume you know what the other person is thinking. Do not bring up things the person cannot change or has no control over. Treat the person with respect and try to come to a solution that will satisfy both of you. Take responsibility. Do what it takes to make it right, follow up at your end.



Of course, the best way to handle difficult times with others is to avoid them in the first place. But that is not always possible. Practicing these simple tips, you can get through tough conversations in your relationships. The art of conversation is like any art by making these tips good habits you acquire the skill and ease for beautiful interactions. Just remember, the ultimate goal is to resolve the issue and restore the relationship.




Michael Young is an experienced life coach and writer who has coached people to success in their business and relationships. Do you want to see how Michael can help you bring your dreams to life? Click here Christian Life Coaching Life Coaching - Complimentary Session Click here Life Coaching Session


Florida is a state located in the southeastern region of the United States. Most of the state is a large peninsula with the Gulf of Mexico on its west and the Atlantic Ocean on its east. Much of Florida has a humid subtropical climate; southern Florida has a tropical climate. Florida was named by Juan Ponce de León, who landed on the peninsula on 2 April 1513, during Pascua Florida (Spanish for "Flowery Easter," referring to the Easter season). Florida is the fourth most populous state in the country. Since 1999 we’ve taught 23 Satvatove Foundational Seminars, and 10 Advanced Seminars in north central Florida. Seminar participants have travelled from all over the world to attend these Satvatove experiences in Florida, though mainly these courses serve people in the areas of Orlando, Tampa, Jacksonville, St. Petersburg, Tallahassee and Atlanta.

Personal Development Techniques To Release The Past

Personal Development Techniques To Release The Past
By Michael McGrath




It is possible to release your past regardless of how painful or deprived it was. Through these personal development techniques you let go of all your emotional baggage and start fresh.



Once you release your emotional attachment to your past you are free to enjoy the present. From this powerful place of being happy and content with where you are you can then begin to create the future of your dreams.



Although you cannot change anything that has happened in the past you can change how your past experiences affect your future. The first step to releasing the past is to accept that it happened. No matter how traumatic the experience or how distasteful the memory is you must acknowledge here and now that it occurred. This is what we call entering a state of Acceptance. Many people live their entire lives wanting to change the past. They moan that if only things had been different their life would be so much better. The past is gone. It happened. There is no way to change the past so there is no point wishing that it never happened or that it happened differently. You cannot change it so accept it!



After acceptance you can enter a state of peace when you realise that the past, all of it, good and bad experiences alike have helped to form and mould the person you are today. All the knowledge, desire and love that are in you right now are a direct result of the past experiences that make up your life.



Next realise that the past has some powerful lessons to teach you. Have you learned anything positive from your past experiences? Use your past as a learning tool. See where you went wrong and make the changes you need to make today so that your future becomes a bright and welcoming place. Never use your past as an excuse to stay the way you are or to tolerate circumstances and situations with which you are currently unhappy! Realise that the past has been and gone. All you have is this moment and that is all you need to make changes.



Many millions of people throughout the centuries have overcome their own personal adversity to achieve great things. You can do the same. These people refused to accept what life had handed them. They never moaned about their past nor allowed it to interfere with their present and thus they created their future the way they wanted it to be.



You should never use the past an excuse for staying stuck in your life. Your power is always in the present moment. Use your past negative experiences as a motivational tool to spur you on. It is all about your perception! It is your perception of the things around you that determines your reality. What you focus on expands. This means you get more of what you focus on in life. If you chose to focus on the mistakes and hardships of your past then that is what you will experience more of.



But if you decide to put the past where it belongs, in the past, and fully embrace the present moment and where you are you will find yourself in a powerful creative place. Only revisit the past to learn from it not as an emotional trip. Although much of your current mental conditioning originates from childhood and early life experiences it can be changed. By making the decision now and holding the intention now that the past will no longer affect you, you can free yourself from your own self-imposed bondage.



From this place of freedom you can make decisions based upon current situations and circumstances instead of being the slave to reactive emotional thinking and acting. The evidence is everywhere that people with painful, damaging pasts have overcame them and gone on to achieve high levels of success. Look at the business world, sports, creative arts etc. There are rags to riches stories everywhere you care to look.



You may encounter past experiences that are very difficult for you to realease. At these times you should seek professional help in whatever form you feel appropriate, even if it is just a subliminal or hypnosis recording. Do something now to release your past - make the decision that it will no longer rule over your current life. Intend to be free of the past. In your own mind decide now that no matter what you need to do you will release your emotional issues. Even though you may not know how you are going to do this yet hold the intention that you will do it. When you do this and begin to live in the now you will be more content and at peace while you wait for your marvelous future to unfold.




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Satvatove Institute is THE personal development company in north Florida. Although we’ve conducted leadership, communication and transformation seminars in more than a dozen countries around the world, Satvatove is based in Alachua County, Florida.

Setting Personal Development Goals Will Lead To Life Success

Setting Personal Development Goals Will Lead To Life Success
By Michael McGrath




The role of Personal Development and Self Improvement is to help you achieve your goals in life. Both are designed to give you the skills you need to achieve whatever it is that you want to achieve. But can personal development or self improvement really improve your life situations?



Well, the purpose of both is to do just that. They are both just tools that are used to ensure you will succeed in your chosen life areas. They are designed to help you become happier on the inside and more satisfied with what you have on the outside in any are you chose to apply them!



So how do you start to set goals that truly lead to self improvement, more freedom, happiness and a better lifestyle for you and your family and ultimately more success? This question is not simple to answer because success means different things to different people. Therefore, if you want to become successful you must first have a clear understanding of what success means to you!



A fantastic way to get a clear on what success means for you is to ask yourself the question, "what would I do if I knew I couldn't fail?" Let your mind roam freely and immerse yourself in your inner vision. This vision will give you the clue that you need to unravel the mystery of success.



At an early age every human being knows what they want to do with their lives. We develop dreams and ambitions at a very early age. However as we grow older we are conditioned to believe that these dreams are not possible or are mere fantasies of our imagination. We are told to get an education, a good job, get married, have kids, a mortgage and holiday once a year with our family. By the time most people reach their mid twenties they have all but given up on their dreams or even forgotten what those dreams are. They have become conditioned into believing that they are incapable of achieving what they want in life. This fundamental belief forms the foundation of their self image and the rest of their mental attitudes are build upon it!



It is the role of personal development and self improvement to remove these conditioned mental attitudes from your inner mind and free you to pursue the life course that you chose for yourself. Through the use of personal development and self improvement you can begin today to remove mental conditioning that you received from well-meaning family, peers and teachers. In addition you will also be directed to remove all those negative mental attitudes that have been given to you by not so well-meaning people and those you have developed yourself through negative life experiences. This is not always an easy journey nor is it always enjoyable but the rewards that you receive are a thousand times the effort required.



The freedom that you can experience from removing just one negative mental and negative emotional pattern is akin to the feeling of rest and tranquility you feel after extreme physical exercise. Removing numerous negative mental attitudes and emotional stress from your mind and body is a feeling and experience that is truly hard to describe to someone who has never experienced it themselves.



Jesus Christ said, "seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you": Matthew 6:33. By removing the negative mental and emotional attitudes from your mind you free yourself to reach your goals. Let me explain.



For instance you may have a desire to be wealthy and thus set a personal development goal to become financially free. There are thousands of different ways to achieve this goal. There are thousands of methods you could follow and plans you could set in motion that would bring you closer to this goal. Millions of people have gone from rags to riches. So, why does following a plan work for one person and the same plan will not work for another?



It is due entirely to the difference in attitude and mental conditioning!



There are at your disposal numerous personal development and self improvement methods that are designed to help you achieve this goal. Now these tools and methods are not designed to show you the way to become financially free but instead are designed to free you from your own inner resistance to being financially free. Many people think this is a waste of time and would prefer to be given step by step instructions to build financial wealth and I was once one of them. Yet however hard I tried and no matter how many plans and formulas I followed my financial situation actually grow worse.



Why was this? Were the plans I was following just not good enough to create wealth? Were the people peddling these rags to riches methods merely conning me out of my money? Was gaining wealth just pure luck like winning the lottery?



The answer to all of the above questions is no!



The plans I followed had worked for thousands and made them rich! The people selling me the products and methods had all made their fortunes using the very same techniques they were trying to teach me! I later found out that gaining wealth had nothing to do with luck!



It wasn't that these things were not good enough to produce the wealth I craved it was that I THOUGHT I wasn't good enough. When you hold a negative self image and have a negative view of yourself and your abilities it is very difficulty to achieve success no matter how much effort you put into it! This is why it is of paramount importance to first remove the negative conditioning that is holding you back in life.



Your attitude, which is only composed of thoughts and feelings, is responsible for your actions. Thought is the creator of action! Every action you perform, no matter how small or big, first begins in your mind as a thought. Each thought begins as a feeling. Think of when you met your last partner. You first felt the attraction. Then you had the thought that you would like to meet them. Then you performed some action to make that happen. Think of the last time you went out socializing. You had the feeling that you would like to have some fun, or be with your friends, were feeling lonely etc. Then you had the thought. Then you performed the action.



If your actions are motivated by your thoughts and feelings and your attitude is composed of thoughts and feelings do you think you could succeed at a given task if you hold a negative mental attitude about it or your ability to succeed at it?



Once you embrace personal development and begin to use any of the myriad of self improvement tools to remove your negative mental attitudes you will naturally find yourself becoming more successful in life. You actions will be more positive and you will unconsciously perform the correct actions that will lead you to success. I am sure you can know see how important it is to set some personal development goals. Not only will you see improvement in your self, you will also see many symptoms of success added unto you!




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Satvatove Institute is THE personal development company in north Florida. Although we’ve conducted leadership, communication and transformation seminars in more than a dozen countries around the world, Satvatove is based in Alachua County, Florida.

What Is Couples Coaching?

What Is Couples Coaching?
By Lakeisha Mcknight




Basketball players, football players, soccer players and some business owners are professionals within different fields. Although these professionals are knowledgeable about field areas, they also have problems that need to be solved. Many of them have coaches in the game to help bring them to greater heights and reach new goals. The same principle applies for those in relationships.



I believe that couples' coaching is a useful tool to prevent the breakdown of families within their first five years of marriage. Statistics reveal that in February 2007 that in many states the number of marriages are equal to or more than the number of divorces (i.e. Wisconsin, USA marriages equal 1,286 verses 1,338 divorces). During the years 1990-2004, the marriage rate declined by leaps (i.e. Nevada marriage rates declined from 99% of population to 62.4%). The marriage rates are declining and people are getting divorces daily. Couples' coaching seeks to build strong relationships and help decrease the rates of divorces. How? Principles found in the most sold out book, the Bible, has helped many relationships. Your relationship is not an exception.



Couples' coaching is relationship or group coaching involving one man and one woman either married five years or less or in a relationship which is headed towards marriage. The man and woman would meet with their coach separately for two sessions. The couple will then meet with their coach together for the remaining time of the couples-coach working relationship. The time frame for couples coaching relationship is eight to twelve sessions (one session per week). The sessions are 45 minutes in length except for the initial session (usually 1 hour in length).



The first session is free of charge. The coach assesses whether the couple and coach will be able to work well together. This session allows the couple to confirm whether or not they like the coaching style. The coach gathers important information pertaining to the problem the couple is trying to solve. When the couple signs to receiving coaching, they will receive enrollment in subscription for weekly tips for their marriage and discounts on future educating materials for marriage. The couple receives both unlimited e-mailing service as well as unlimited 10 laser sessions. E-mailing service allows the couple to be able to e-mail coach at any time. The coach must reply within 24-48 hours. Ten minute laser sessions are limited to 8 a.m.-8p.m. daily (Monday-Saturdays), except Sundays.



The coach's role is to help the couple find their own solution to their marital problem. The problem can be personal in nature or pertaining to household concerns (i.e. lack of income). The coach must ensure that couples receive assignments and that they are completed in a timely manner. The coach is attentive, utilizing active listening during sessions, asks probing questions as well.



The couple must come to each session with an open mind. The man and woman must give 100% effort to the working relationship. The couple must come to each session with an agenda they desire to see completed. The couple is expected to apply knowledge learned as the couple-coach working relationship progresses.




Look for change in 2008 with your relationships with couples coaching. You will not be disappointed!!!! Visit http://www.coupleslifecoach.org for more information.

How to Live Relationship as an Adventure in Loving, Committed, Authentic Connection

How to Live Relationship as an Adventure in Loving, Committed, Authentic Connection
By Janis Mccann, Ph.d.




Talk openly and frequently. Clarifying and requesting what you require, want or need, is essential for connected relating.



Transparency is the best policy. Avoid fabricating or hiding behind excuses. Discuss challenges: money, in-laws, children, parents, etc. Share goals and visions, hopes and dreams.



Listen to your partner and mirror while attempting to understand differing perceptions, perspectives or points of view
Do not make assumptions about your partner's intentions or behavior. Learn about and celebrate your differences.



Listen attentively and with curiosity instead of planning your defense strategy while your partner is sharing. Don't blame another for your positive or negative choices, or even the failure to make choices.



Do reframe faults into positives; express appreciations. Remember that viewing your partner in the best light increases attraction. Research demonstrates that couples need to have 5 positive interactions for every one negative to cultivate and maintain a positive relationship.



Explain what you thought and felt without assigning responsibility to your partner for your reactions. Expressing yourself without blame or judgment and acknowledging your differences is critical for the health of your relationship.



Feelings are important and deserve to be acknowledged. However, it is imperative not to react to whatever is triggered. Don't let your emotions dictate your behavior. If necessary, take a time out before you respond.



Open to the unfolding possibilities in your relationship.



To keep your partner interested and happy. add surprises, fun and novelty to the relationship Stay mentally, spiritually, and physically in good shape. Keep your sex appeal and the passion alive. Keep Sex Alive: stay sexy.




Drs. Janis and David Mccann

805/646-4455

info@relationship-coaches.com

http://www.relationship-coaches.com

323 E. Matilija Street

Ojai, CA 93023



Workshops, Seminars, and Individual Retreats for Couples are offered in Ojai, Santa Barbara, Northern California, San Diego and San Luis Obispo, California as well as Sedona, Arizona, Santa Fe, New Mexico, and Cancun, Mexico.



Telephone coaching and Teleconferencing are available.

Top 10 Tips Designed For Relationship Bliss

Top 10 Tips Designed For Relationship Bliss
By Jeff Lim




First of all, let me start off my saying that if you are under 18, get a life first! What I mean is to focus on school and strive to go to college. Take that degree and cash it into a good paying job. After that, you will be ready to settle down. The odds are against you if you marry at a young age. The divorce rate is over 80% for couples married between ages 18 and 22.



Relationships are complicated and will ruin your life before then. Don't fool yourself into thinking that your 15 year old girlfriend will last until you are 24, the age when you are finally able to get married. Guess what? Things can change in 9 years time. You can't expect people to stay the same. Also, the years between 18 and 24 are the peak times for us to find out more about ourselves.



Ok, so on with the show. Here are my top 10 tips for couples looking to remain on cloud 9.



Number 1: You have to be friends before you can be lovers. Ever heard of that expression? Being friends before lovers is a major factor in relationships. This will allow you to get to know the real person that you are dealing with, not the fake that is trying to impress you on a date. You get to cut out all the dating drama just by being able to laugh at and with each other.



Number 2: NO ONE is perfect and EVERYONE has their flaws. Some people are too tall, some people have a big nose and some people have crooked teeth. However, we have just scratched the surface. Those physical flaws pale in comparison to the personality flaws. Can you stand him leaving the toilet seat up, her being a neat freak, him not taking the trash out daily, or her talking non-stop all day? You better be able to live with that person first before you start babbling "We're so in love, we're a match made in heaven". If you can find the flaws and live with them, then you have a decent chance of making relationship that work.



Number 3: Your partner doesn't have to be filthy rich when you meet. Not many of us were lucky to be born rich like Paris Hilton. Here's what I believe about the finance part of the relationship. If your partner is in their 30's then yes, they better have money and be living in their own place (except if they are waiting for home prices to drop in California).



However, if you are in your early 20's then money shouldn't be an issue. What you should be looking for is potential. Your partner should have goals, good morals and ambition. Some great signs are: If they want to start a business, they are aiming for another degree and a higher paying job, or they are driving on the last legs of their beat up car to save money.



Number 4: Improve your communication with each other. This is another big part in making relationships work. Communication means TALKING, not using human antennas or ESP mind reading tricks. Let me give you an example of how important it is. Let's say your guy has done something stupid, you get angry, and 10 minutes later he doesn't why you're upset. Then being a typical woman, you don't want to tell him because you want him to use his psychic skills to figure out what's the matter with you.



You could cut out all of this unnecessary tension on your relationship if you would just open up your mouth and talk. God gave you and everyone else a mouth so use it. Stop dropping hints and start acting like real adults. Game playing should be left on the playground for children. The only way a relationship will survive is if you communicate.



Number 5: Another big factor in relationships is compromise. This is one of the hardest parts of a relationship because either no one wants to give up their side or one person in the relationship is constantly giving up their side that it starts to wear them down. The last time I checked, compromising was a two way street.



You have to be willing to compromise and yet, you can't be the one making all the compromises either. If you keep making all the compromises and it is seemingly one-sided, then just say goodbye to the relationship. Don't think that when you two get married things will change. The odds are that they won't. Better work out all the compromises before tying the knot.



Number 6: Give each other breathing room and space. Hanging out with each other 24/7 will only bring about the Law of Diminishing Returns. For the girls, this means letting him hang out with his guy buddies for a few nights a week. For the guys, this means letting her hang out with her lady friends to go shopping. We all need breaks from each other. Hell, I yearn for breaks from my grandma sometimes.



There is nothing wrong with getting out of the house once in awhile and giving you time to miss each other. At the same instance, it is important to set aside time for just the two of you to enjoy being with each other. It's good to be comfortable with and without each other.



Number 7: On to the physical part of the relationship. There are two things that I want to say about it. First, I admit, it is important in a relationship because without it, a marriage will just wilt away without the passion. I personally believe that you should wait until you are married. But of course my opinion means nothing in this world.



I have heard sex being compared to test driving cars before settling on one to purchase. However, we all know that even after test driving a car there are more features that we have to take into consideration. Same goes with a relationship because there is more to it than just sex.



The other part I want to say about sex is that you better make sure that you don't become passionate with someone before getting to know them emotionally. There needs to be an emotional bond that exists first that will make sex take your relationship to another level. Getting physical before getting to know someone can be a very dangerous situation that you put yourself in emotionally, physically and mentally.



Number 8: You have a choice as to which partner you would like to take a chance with. I believe that you can love more than one person and that there isn't just the "ONE" person for everyone. Yes, we all hope and pray to end up with the first one, but how many of us really are lucky to end up with our firsts?



You could try to make love work with a number of people. I think that there are about 5 to 10 people on this earth that you could do that with. We've been given free will and it is up to us to choose who we want to make love work with.



This is why when a widowed lady loses her spouse, she can get remarried and still love her second husband just like the first one. Only this time, the love is a bit different. Another example is if things don't work out in your current relationship, you are always entitled to a choice to love someone else, although it will never be the same as the last one.



Number 9: Show some respect to your partner. There are many times in relationships where I see couples criticize the other person's flaws in front of other people. It is important to realize that your partner deserves just as much respect as you do. You should be able to talk about decisions and respect each other. However, if you truly don't agree with something, then speak out about it. Don't become degrading and start insulting your partner because this is going to end up destroying your relationship.



Number 10: I don't believe that there is such a thing as relationship bliss. All relationships are is hard work and sacrifice. There are always unexpected events that happen in every relationship. The great thing about them is that they are tests necessary to help understand each other better. If you can make it through the tough times and learn to laugh and support each other, then you will have built a strong relationship.




Jeff is passionate about personal development topics and helping others find their true calling. More articles can be found at http://handylifeadvice.com

Relationship Clarity - Three Traits of a Conscious Relationship

Relationship Clarity - Three Traits of a Conscious Relationship

By Leif Davis

You know what really drives me crazy, its when people talk on cell phones when they are driving. You can bet they are talking about, or dealing with some relationship issue. You know the guy who is swerving all over the road with the cell up to his ear, the other hand holding a cigarette, "Honey I, honey I, honey I, I, I, I. Just the other day, I was driving along, talking on my cell-- what? I didn't say I didn't do it, I just said it drives me crazy when other people do it!



A majority of our lives is spent in relationship with other people. Its sometimes surprising to see how many people are walking around (or driving) in what I call the relationship daze.. Particularly, when it comes to romance or being in a committed relationship, we are so often clueless. To become conscious in your relationships is to come out of the fog. I want to share three of the basic qualities of a conscious relationship. The three traits of a conscious relationship are, know your vision, be a good communicator, and be 100% responsible.



First and foremost, being conscious in relationship is to know who you are and what you want. This means being clear about life purpose, your requirements, needs, and wants. Most people think they know this, but so often, we are only looking at the tip of the iceberg, where 90% of the substance is below the surface. From my experience, a good percentage of the problems in committed relationships are because of unstated or unrealized expectations. These are often the residents of our nighttime dreams, the fantasies about the perfect relationship. Taking the relationship out of the fantasy world and making your vision clear and explicit is vital. If you go into a relationship with a huge piece of the iceberg still under the surface, there is bound to be trouble.



The second trait of a conscious relationship is being able to communicate competently- especially when feeling overwhelmed by emotion. And believe me, if there is ever a time when emotion can overwhelm, it in a romantic relationship! Many of us are at times emotionally over reactive.



There are two types of over reactive people according to Harvile Hendrix. In his book, Getting the Love You Want, he calls them minimizers and maximizers. Minimizers stonewall others when they are upset- they under reacting, withhold, or shut down. For minimizers, iIts important to get more understanding of how you are feeling and be effective at communicating to your partner about those feelings.



On the other hand, maximizers tend to overreact when having strong emotions. They make mountains out of molehills often saying things that are hurtful. Maximizers often have the mistaken notion that being close to someone makes it ok to tell everything that you feel at any given moment without any filter- in whatever way it comes out. In reality, you need to be thoughtful, careful, and considerate in how you communicate to your significant other. Learning to manage your emotions, becoming more emotionally intelligent is vital for a good relationship.



Lastly learn to take total responsibility for your relationship. I used to think relationships were 50/50 but have come to realize they are really 100/100 And if two people take 100% responsibility, then that's 200% responsibility. Being responsible means asking for what you need and want and accepting it when you cant have it- in other words accept the other person as they are. On the other hand you must also be willing to end it (or not start it if you are pre committed) if your requirements are not met. It's important to have clarified beforehand, what your requirements are. (Requirements are deal breakers, those things that if not present will cause a breakup).



I have just briefly touched on several of the qualities of a conscious relationship. Being conscious and clear is protection against many of the problems that plague troubled relationships. Look for more of the qualities of being conscious and in love in future articles.




Dr Davis is a relationship coach and psychologist in Orlando Florida. He is an author and speaker and is dedicated to helping people finding love in a sometimes-confusing world. He offers teleseminars, weekend courses, eprograms, and audio programs on conscious dating and for committed couples seeking to deepen their connection and forge strong and lasting relationships. You can find him at: http://www.psychologicalgrowth.com